Your brain is a filter for the life and lifeless around you.

Amsterdam Wolfgang

Your brain is a filter for the life and lifeless around you.

4. July 2013

I was waiting for the F train on my way to work and a woman with two children approached me to asked directions. I wish I could have helped her more, but I was already late.

She said “I’m trying to get the the public assistance office on 36St, or maybe it was 36Ave?” I looked at her puzzled and said well which is it? Although I wanted to say “if you don’t know where you are going how can I give you directions!?” but that would have been a little over the top. She looked at me with vacant eyes and said “it’s here in queens.” I immediately regretted not taking a cab to work .

My train arrived and I looked down at her two children, one about 5 and the other in a stroller, maybe 18 months. I felt bad for them having a mother that is so unorganized. So, I gave the best directions I could to someone who didn’t know where they were going. “Alright, go to the other side of the tracks and get on a local train going the opposite direction. This will take you to 36 street. Once you’re there ask someone else where the public assistance office is. If nobody knows, find someone with a phone and ask them to Google it for you.” She gave me one last confused and vacant look before I stepped onto the train and the doors closed behind me.

I’ll never know if they made it to the public assistance office or if they are still roaming all over Queens in vain. Either way, I hope the next person she asked had a little more sleep than I did the night before.

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3. July 2013

You’ve become so newyorkified.

I can tell when you are about to make a sarcastic comment,

But you are so helpless that I wouldn’t dare tell you 

When I’ve caught you off guard, and you don’t know.

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3. July 2013

Regardless of the weather I like being close to the water. When I see the modest majesty of the ocean that carries ships and rarely tips them. I think there must be a kindness that lies deep with in the unexplored reaches of the planet.

Ships of all kinds come and go. That kind of freedom can’t be sold. Although I’ve never tried it, I’m sure there are times I’d want to go back to shore. There are few things I would miss but I would truly miss them. Losing them would not be worth the open freedom of the sea.

The harbour would allow me back as easily as it let me go. The harbour is the link between freedom and being lost. One day I’ll experience for myself all that adventure, freedom, glory, and wealth.

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2. July 2013

She won’t kiss me.

I only got three hours of sleep.

Dozed showering.

Looks like I can’t lay, play with myself.

But I’m going to the beach with my baby


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12. May 2013

It was 530 in the morning and I was walking home. Not really drunk or leaving a bar, or party, just tired. I saw three stray cats having a little party behind the cobbled stoop of a weathered astoria apartment. I stopped to investigate, and maybe get a pet or two. I was too clumsy. They scattered. One took off ahead of me and two behind. Looking back I saw two of them run right over each other but without breaking stride, trying to escape me as a potential predator. After loosing sight of the shabby looking tabbys I looked back to find the third. She sat. She had scurried, at first, but now seemed unafraid. I chicked and cherped trying to catch her attention but did so in vein. As she sat there preping her beautiful orange and white fur for the next hunt I thought “sometimes I wish I was one of these late night scamps.” I picked up my bag to walk the last twenty five steps to my door and she bolted under an old broken ford. Some nights I really wish I was one of those late night scamps.

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27. April 2013

When you wear that red dress 
And dance like a flame
You really light me up 
And make me go insane.

When you look at him with those
Burnt ashey eyes
His existence 
Is all I think of and despise.

I lost myself for the first time
To your heated stare.
Ignore my tendency to be
As green as a lime.

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27. April 2013

When you walk into the night,
Talk to yourself, try to be right
And try to leave it all behind.
Or just forget what just happened.


If I could figure out in my head
My frame would not be dead.
When I said its all worth while
We both know I had to lie.


Why do you cry
When youre getting by?
Keep telling yourself
It’ll all work out.


A kiss from lips that you cant feel
To help leave this world thats too real.
Try to forget what you just did.
If it helps you get home sober.


Look at the state in which I walk on through.
Looks like the person I try not to be to.
I couldn’t even think of my bed.
Or the 
rhythms in my bones.

Why do you cry
When youre getting by?
Keep telling yourself
It’ll all work out.


Now weighed down by heavy head.
And a concience full of dread.
With baggage none shall feel.
Oh can you tell I miss the snow.


When will I really get ahead?

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